338. Quick Thinks: 5 Techniques for a Better Sleep & Better Communication

0:14 Communication hygiene, proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep can make a huge difference in your success. I'm Matt Abrahams, and I teach Strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. Of the three components of communication hygiene, sleep is my nemesis. As long as I can remember, I've been a bad sleeper. And after our episode 287 with sleep doctor Cheri Mah, many of you shared that you struggle with sleep too. So I thought I would pass along what I've learned about getting better sleep that has helped me a little bit. Some comes from my experience, and others come from advice I've received over our many Think Fast, Talk Smart episode guests.

0:59 I'd like to organize this around the ABCDE of good sleep. So let's get started with A, affect. How you feel. Because I know I'm a bad sleeper, I often get stressed about going to bed and worrying about not sleeping, and thus having a bad day when I wake up. To help counter this worry, I journal. Part of my journaling focuses on what I'm worrying about. I find getting it out on paper helps remove it from my mind. I also follow the advice of Sonja Lyubomirsky, who shared in episode 274 that gratitude journaling can really help. So I write down things I'm thankful for, and this also dials down my worry about sleep.

1:42 Finally, I try to ground myself physically by feeling my body on the bed. Focusing on the physical helps me stop the negative feelings. Moving from affect, A, to B, behavioral. To help me prepare for sleep, I follow Dr. Mah's advice and limit my caffeine intake and stop drinking it early in the afternoon. I also am fortunate enough to be able to take quick power naps, and I do this around 2:00 every day for about 15 minutes, and I awaken refreshed. Before bed, I like to do some light stretching to relax my body. I take a warm shower. It also helps a lot.

2:24 And as I shared with Frances Frei in episode 109, I like to watch five minutes of comedy before I go to bed. Laughing helps me feel more relaxed, and it puts a smile on my face. From affect to behavior to C, cognition. My thoughts can get in the way of my sleep. Turning off my brain is really hard. Nir Eyal helped me come up with a mantra I like. In episode 270, he suggested saying, "The body knows what the body needs." I find this takes a lot of pressure off me. My body knows what it needs, and if it needs sleep, it'll get it. I also use a technique called cognitive disruption.

3:08 Here's how it plays out for me. I take an eight or nine-letter word, and I try to make 10 words from that word. Often they're smaller, and I find this refocuses my brain. It gets me out of my own way. Finally, I remind myself of Dr. Mah's reframing of sleep not as the end of today, but the beginning of tomorrow, and it gets me excited. It changes the way I approach it all. So we have the A, the B, the C, and now the D. D is one technique, and one technique only. D stands for deep breathing. This gets its own call-out because it's so important.

3:48 Breathwork can really help calm you down. When Andrew Huberman was on the show, he taught us many different powers of breath and the way to do it. This was all in episode 33, and you can check it out. The technique I like to use is box breathing, where you inhale for a certain count, hold for that same count, exhale on that count, and then hold and start over. I like to do a count of 6. So we've talked about affect, behavior, cognition, and deep breathing. The final of these techniques is the environment. I try to keep my room nice and cool.

4:29 Being too hot makes it hard for me to go to sleep. I like to take as much light out of the space as possible and keep things quiet. I put my phone outside the room. Taken together, the A, B, C, D, E's of sleep hygiene really help me to sleep better. It's a lot of steps. I don't do each and every one every night, but I know I can rely on them to help me. Finally, if you go to bed and wake up at the same time each night, you'll be better off because that habit gets ingrained, and you'll do better. Sleep is essential to good performance and good communication.

5:14 It is my hope that some of these techniques that help me will help you in your sleep and your sleep communication hygiene. Have a good night. Thanks for joining us for this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast. Please check out more of our back catalog items to find helpful information. This episode was produced by Katherine Reed, Alex McCarthy, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams, with special thanks to the Stanford GSB video team. Our music is from Floyd Wonder. And thank you to Podium Podcast Company. Please find us on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.

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