People form an opinion of you based on where you stand at a networking event. (And your choices might be sabotaging your own networking efforts!)
In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host Matt Abrahams returns to his conversation with Vanessa Van Edwards, lead investigator at Science of People and author of Captivate. From the biology of first impressions to the geography of a networking event, Vanessa turns everyday interactions into something you can practice.
Together, Matt and Vanessa discuss:
• Humans are wired evolutionarily to check ONE specific body part when someone new approaches.
• Every party has zones inside it, and one of them kills conversation immediately.
• There's a spot that gives you "social savior" status at a gathering. And it is hiding in plain sight!
• Two traits strangers measure you on to decide whether you are worth their time.
• Your conversation-nemesis is sitting in their pocket. And beating it needs... confetti! [VERIFY THIS]
• Not all smiles are the same. Some smiles actually do the opposite of what they are meant to do...
Vanessa Van Edwards draws on two decades of experience studying highly charismatic people and turns every room into a map and every gesture into data. She breaks down where to stand, how to open, and what real warmth looks like. And once you see the "confetti", you can't unsee how much of communication happens before you say your first word.
About The Guest
Vanessa Van Edwards is the bestselling author of Captivate and Cues, known for transforming "soft skills" into science-backed, actionable communication frameworks. With over 60 million views across her YouTube tutorials and TEDx Talk, her practical methods help individuals and leaders master confidence, interpersonal skills, and hidden social dynamics. She has taught hundreds of thousands of students through LinkedIn Learning and her advanced People School course. A globally renowned speaker who has keynoted at Stanford, MIT, and the Global Leadership Summit, Vanessa also advises entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and industry giants including Google, Microsoft, and Amazon.
About Matt
Matt Abrahams is a leading communication expert, lecturer in organizational behavior at Stanford GSB, and host of the award-winning Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast. He has coached presenters at TED, the World Economic Forum, and the UN Secretary-General's office, and his online talks have garnered millions of views worldwide. He is the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter and Speaking Up without Freaking Out, two bestselling guides to confident, spontaneous communication.
Key Quotes
• "I sort of - like a football coach - identified that there are three different zones in a networking event." - Vanessa van Edwards (3:29)"
• We are now competing in conversation with someone's feed... What if we begin to think about conversation as a better feed?" - Vanessa Van Edwards (07:11)
• "The faster you can signal warmth and competence, the more charismatic you are." - Vanessa Van Edwards (10:55)
• "You don't have to be funny or impressive or extroverted. Actually, those things have very little to do with charisma." - Vanessa Van Edwards (11:02)
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:57 Modern Human, Caveman Software
02:29 The Worst Zip Code In A Room
03:38 Escape the Start Zone
05:33 Openers That Actually Spark
06:55 "Feed-ify" Your Conversation
08:05 Stockpiling Conversational “Confetti”
09:44 What Charisma Is Actually About
11:39 What Warmth Actually Looks Like
14:18 Conclusion
Relevant Links:
Vanessa Van Edwards: https://www.fastersmarter.io/guests/vanessa-van-edwards/
Vanessa’s Books: https://bookplease.ai/edwards/cues?podcast=think-fast-talk-smart / https://bookplease.ai/edwards/captivate?podcast=think-fast-talk-smart
Episode References:
Ep. 301. Ditch the Golden Rule: The Platinum Rule Is What Changes Everything
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGOCktzKT7w / https://www.fastersmarter.io/301-trust-at-first-sight-create-more-meaningful-connections/
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