327. The Human Reset: Reclaiming Authenticity in the Age of AI

WEBVTT

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In a world where AI can polish and
perfect our communication, the ability

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to communicate spontaneously on
the spot not only demonstrates your

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humanness, but gives you an advantage
in your personal and professional life.

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My name is Matt Abrahams, and I
teach Strategic Communication at

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Stanford Graduate School of Business.

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Welcome to Think Fast,
Talk Smart, the podcast.

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Today you are in for
something a little different.

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In celebration of the release of an
updated version of my book, Think Faster,

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Talk Smarter, I'm taking on a new role.

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I'll be the guest, and my friend Lorraine
K. Lee will join me and ask questions

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about the content of my new book.

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You might remember Lorraine from
episode 202, where she talked about

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her great book, Unforgettable Presence.

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Also, you can see us together
in my Masterclass Certification

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Course on Strategic Communication.

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So let me move over and be a
guest and welcome in Lorraine.

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All right, Matt.

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Well, thank you for inviting
me to grill you today.

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I'm so excited to be back, sitting
in the host chair this time.

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Are you ready to dive in?

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I am absolutely ready.

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A little nervous, but, and very grateful
for you taking the, the chair, and

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I'm excited for the conversation.

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Of course.

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Same here.

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So I read your two new chapters, uh, and
emailed you very excitedly afterwards

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letting you know how timely they both are.

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You talk about how to handle
spontaneous conflict and also how

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to remain human in a world of AI.

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So today I'd like to
discuss the AI chapter.

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You said that AI has created
an authenticity crisis.

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What do you mean by that, and
what are some of the consequences

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that we're seeing from that?

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We no longer can be assured that
when we see a communication from

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someone, that it came from them.

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Many people are using AI to polish
and perfect their communication.

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So this authenticity crisis is really
about who generated the content.

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Can I trust that it's you, and can I
trust that it reflects your knowledge,

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your experience, your critical thinking?

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And that's really what's at risk.

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I am absolutely for using AI to help
us in many ways in our communication.

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But when we outsource all of
the deep thinking, the critical

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thought, the reflection, that
becomes problematic because we

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don't have that depth of knowledge.

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The experience of thinking through our
messages is really, really important.

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So the consequences, to get to
your question, could be very dire.

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And we're seeing people change
their behavior because of it.

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Employers are asking people to come
in person for interviews because they

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wanna know that you actually said it.

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You don't have your AI up on
the side when you're virtual.

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We know in exams in universities and high
schools, they're doing more in person.

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They're bringing back the old
blue books that I had when I was,

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Oh, are they?

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Okay.

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Yeah, when, when I was in school, because
we wanna see that that's original content.

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So AI can help us in so many ways,
but it also leads to this crisis.

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And all of us can be better
served by making sure that

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we are adept at communicating
in the moment, in high-stakes

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situations, without relying on AI.

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It will become a differentiator and
really help us to be more effective.

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I 100% agree with that.

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And I was just talking to a senior
leader the other day, and he

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said, "I…" He said, "I don't
trust anything that's written.

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I need to see you live.

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I don't know what was made with AI.

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Like, what part was your thinking versus
AI?" So yeah, that, that really resonates.

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So to remedy this crisis and
show more of our humanness, you

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developed a framework you call TRUST.

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Can you walk us through that
framework and give us some examples?

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Absolutely.

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Anybody listening or watching
knows I love a good framework.

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And I know you do too.

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Your book has lots of good ones that
I follow, uh, on a regular basis.

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When we live in a world where authenticity
is in question, we need to know that we

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can trust what somebody is saying came
from them, that it's human created.

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So this framework provides us with five
specific skills or actions we can take

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to, to demonstrate humanness, that, that
we actually originated this information.

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So let me walk through the
various steps of TRUST, T-R-U-S-T.

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To come off as authentic, you
need to be trusted, and we

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can put trust into practice.

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The T is for starting with
a truthful foundation.

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Ground your message in your lived
experience, offering specific

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details and examples, delving into
the emotions that accompanied them.

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I might say something like, uh,
"I'm really self-conscious when I

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had to share that." By revealing
that information, that's something

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that an AI tool couldn't do.

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The R is for real-time
processing of ideas.

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AI just gives you a final output.

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You can verbalize what you're thinking
in the moment, revealing your internal

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processes and signaling to others that
you're originating content on the spot.

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Phrases like, "My first inclination
is," or, "Let me think about," and,

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"I remember when," brings listeners
into the workings of your mind.

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The U stands for utilizing tailored,
detailed, local evidence to support

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your logic and, and make it relevant.

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AI offers backing for its
conclusion, but it tends to be

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very generic and flavorless.

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You can present stories, data, or
testimonials that might be a little

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quirky or, or off, and those speak
to your own unique lived experience.

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I might share how this new store
layout is like that first store I ever

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visited or remember visiting as a kid.

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That's insight that really
stands out as human and personal.

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The S is for showing your
unique speaking style.

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Until very recently, I used to tell
my students and clients to work on

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eliminating things like verbal tics
that didn't add anything to the message

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and, and were potentially distracting.

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In the age of AI, these tics do add
something, a sense of humanness.

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Our imperfections reveal that we're human.

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Now, don't go overboard on your
ums and uhs, likes, I means,

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okays, but, but you don't need to
stress about them as much either.

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This verbal graffiti signals
that you're authentic.

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And finally is T for tipping off
the audience to your perspective.

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When sharing information, provide
commentary in a form that's unique

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to your thoughts and insights.

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When describing a new process or
innovation you made to a boss, you

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might say something like, "This was
the most challenging but fun solution

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I've had to work on in all the three
years I've been here." By leveraging

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the T-R-U-S-T of TRUST, you demonstrate
authenticity, you demonstrate humanness,

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you connect, and you let those
you're speaking with know that you're

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human and these are your thoughts.

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Love that framework, and I think the
one that really resonated with me

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was when you were saying, "Oh, it's
okay to add some of those verbal tics

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back." Similarly, I'll have people
say, "Oh, I saw a typo in the email.

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I know they spent the time to write that
instead of just putting it into AI."

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Isn't it funny the things, the things that
used to bother us now actually are proof

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of human that, that we're who we are.

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And, and I personally feel the
pressure removed a little bit.

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And the people I coach and
teach feel much more relaxed.

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So I believe TRUST helps you not
only trust in yourself but helps give

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other folks that sense of confidence
that you're really who you are.

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Another really interesting idea you talk
about in your book is the empathy paradox,

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and you make this really interesting
point about how AI can erode or enhance

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empathy depending on how we use it.

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Can you talk a little bit more
about this and perhaps why we

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should be a little bit concerned?

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Yes.

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So empathy is so critical
in communication.

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In fact, some people who study
communication believe the whole

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purpose of communication is to
serve as a tool for empathy.

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Empathy is how we connect, how
we learn, how we transmit meaning

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and emotion, and AI can help us.

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It can actually enhance our empathy.

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So imagine I'm going
to interview with you.

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You're the hiring manager.

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I could look you up online.

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I could say, "I'm speaking with Lorraine.

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Uh, I know she, she
works for this company.

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She's been for, there for this long.

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She seems to be very focused
on delivery of results.

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Help me come up with some ideas
about how to present her."

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I'm not asking for a script.

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I'm asking for the AI to be
a thought partner to help me

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really learn more about you.

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So in this way, it's enhancing my empathy.

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The other side of AI, though, could
be I, I could simply outsource all

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of my most challenging communication.

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Let's say I have to give you a
performance review where there's

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some constructive feedback.

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Or perhaps I, I have to
let you go, lay you off.

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Uh, I could just have
AI craft that message.

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I could put it in an email and
send it, and, and that's it.

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But if I do that, I actually lose
out on the, the skill building

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that empathy actually helps.

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Empathy's a muscle.

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We have to build it.

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I have to go through that thought process.

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How would I feel if I were laid off?

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What would this mean for me if I
received this constructive feedback?

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And it is in that processing that I become
better in my communication and ultimately

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better in my relationship with you.

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So if we outsource all of this
to AI, we actually have empathy

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atrophy, where we lose that ability.

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So we have to rely on AI for where it
can help us as a thought partner or role

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play and avoid just simply outsourcing
the most challenging communication.

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That's that challenge.

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That's that, that paradox
that we have to navigate.

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I really like what you said about
how we have to practice empathy.

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It's a muscle.

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Absolutely.

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So I, I wanna build on this.

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You highlight three specific ways to use
AI to increase empathy, so using AI as a

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training partner, maybe as a collaborative
teammate, and as a communications coach.

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So can you tell me about a specific
situation where perhaps you've

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used AI in one of these capacities?

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Absolutely.

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So I had, uh, a big initiative I was
trying to get started and successfully

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have gotten started, and I had a big
meeting with the decision-makers and the

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people who I needed to get to support it,
all lovely, wonderful people who I knew.

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And I used AI to help me in
preparing for this meeting.

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I gave some characteristics of some of
the people in the room in terms of where

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I thought their perspective would be.

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So there was a financial person involved.

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There was a person who was doing strategy.

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And I actually role-played
with AI my presentation.

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So I spoke it out to the AI.

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And I had the AI give me feedback
from the different perspectives.

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And it was very illuminating.

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A couple ideas came up I hadn't thought
of, and a couple of connections came up

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that I also hadn't really registered,
and I was able to combine them together.

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The success of my presentation, I
believe, was a, a direct result of

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the feedback the AI gave me, but more
importantly, the thought process I had

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to go through after I got the feedback.

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So it's not enough just
to take the feedback in.

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It's, it's that reflection
that can really help.

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So that was something that, that
I used and will continue to use as

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I bring forward new ideas in any
capacity, in any of the roles I have.

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I think you make a really important point
about you get that feedback, but you do

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need to process and you need to know,
like, does this actually make sense?

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Do I wanna address this?

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Do I wanna incorporate this?

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And again, that's that muscle where you
are tapping into the human side of things,

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practicing your communication skills.

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If you let those atrophy, as you
said, you're not gonna be able to

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discern when AI gives you something,
whether it makes sense to act on.

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Yeah, AI is, is one form of input, and
we need to reflect and build it and

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put it into the other forms of input
we take, including our own reflection.

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Going off of that, uh, meeting example,
you offer some really specific ways

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to use AI, some of which are very
relevant to us in the workforce,

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uh, like simulating a meeting where
you actively might anticipate some

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pushback from specific individuals.

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So can you talk more about how you
would go about using AI in this way, and

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what does that look like in practice?

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So there are many ways to use AI.

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Uh, I, I'm a big fan, and we learned
this from Jeremy Utley, who, who

00:13:08.750 --> 00:13:11.699
taught us that you actually have
to have a conversation with AI.

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It's not an oracle that, that
magically gives you results.

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So if you have a big presentation,
if you are on a panel, if you

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have a meeting to go to, you
can use an AI tool to role play.

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You can actually use the, the
conversation mode where you're

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speaking it out and getting feedback.

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You can ask it to generate
challenging questions for you.

00:13:32.180 --> 00:13:35.909
My MBA students are required to do
this for one of their assignments,

00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:41.409
where they take Q&A, and they have to
train the AI to ask them questions,

00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:42.699
and then they practice answering.

00:13:42.909 --> 00:13:47.339
Much like a boxer might have a sparring
partner, AI can do that for you.

00:13:47.889 --> 00:13:52.750
You can also ask AI to give you
feedback on the quality of your

00:13:52.750 --> 00:13:55.729
argument, the, uh, types of vocabulary.

00:13:55.729 --> 00:13:58.249
Are you using jargon or, or acronyms?

00:13:58.510 --> 00:13:59.979
It can highlight that for you.

00:14:00.260 --> 00:14:04.429
And after you've done enough of this
over multiple times in different

00:14:04.429 --> 00:14:09.569
situations, you can go to the AI and
ask for trends or patterns that it sees.

00:14:09.819 --> 00:14:12.699
So you can use it as a
meta teacher for you.

00:14:12.829 --> 00:14:17.019
It could come back and say, "I notice
that you often start every conversation

00:14:17.019 --> 00:14:21.889
with a question. Maybe you should try
a story here." We aren't often good

00:14:21.889 --> 00:14:26.049
at seeing the patterns in our own
communication, and you can have AI

00:14:26.059 --> 00:14:27.859
help inform you about those patterns.

00:14:27.870 --> 00:14:29.770
So there are lots of
different ways to use it.

00:14:30.069 --> 00:14:31.739
Again, it is a partner.

00:14:31.760 --> 00:14:33.069
It is not a replacement.

00:14:33.849 --> 00:14:37.689
I really like the Q&A example because
a lot of people get tripped up because

00:14:37.690 --> 00:14:40.509
they don't practice enough or they
don't even think to practice for it.

00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:45.180
So this is a very nice, easy way to
kinda get into that, that practice

00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:49.209
mode and, yeah, be, be more confident
because you're coming in prepared now.

00:14:49.510 --> 00:14:53.189
People so often understand that it's
important to practice a big meeting

00:14:53.239 --> 00:14:57.299
presentation or a contribution, but
they don't think to, to practice the

00:14:57.299 --> 00:14:59.899
dialogic, uh, Q&A part, and it, it works.

00:14:59.909 --> 00:15:00.949
It makes a big difference.

00:15:01.119 --> 00:15:03.819
I know you're going to cover this
more in a future episode, but your

00:15:03.839 --> 00:15:08.170
other new chapter you added is about
how to handle in-the-moment conflict.

00:15:08.379 --> 00:15:10.719
So can you give us a little
preview of what we can expect?

00:15:11.089 --> 00:15:13.909
Think Faster, Talk Smarter
is divided into two parts.

00:15:13.929 --> 00:15:19.169
There's the methodology, the seven
steps now, and then the second part

00:15:19.170 --> 00:15:23.290
is all about applied situations where
we have to speak in the moment: making

00:15:23.290 --> 00:15:27.400
small talk, answering questions,
pitching in the moment, uh, fixing

00:15:27.400 --> 00:15:29.650
mistakes, making, uh, apologies.

00:15:30.304 --> 00:15:34.954
As I toured all around doing podcasts
and, and guest lectures, the one

00:15:34.954 --> 00:15:39.414
thing people asked me about is, "How
do you manage in-the-moment conflict

00:15:39.414 --> 00:15:42.484
and challenges?" We've all been
there, where we're in the midst of

00:15:42.484 --> 00:15:43.934
a meeting and something flares up.

00:15:43.934 --> 00:15:47.034
We're having a conversation around
the family dinner table and our uncle

00:15:47.034 --> 00:15:48.714
says something that sparks everything.

00:15:49.414 --> 00:15:50.384
How do we handle that?

00:15:50.744 --> 00:15:54.944
And so I decided to put some effort
into some research, leveraging a lot of

00:15:54.944 --> 00:15:59.464
the content that I learned from my many
amazing guests, and really came up with

00:15:59.464 --> 00:16:05.143
a framework, not for what to say, but for
how to prepare yourself for saying it.

00:16:05.473 --> 00:16:08.463
So let me just give a little
bit of an idea of how people

00:16:08.463 --> 00:16:10.573
can be clearer in those moments.

00:16:10.583 --> 00:16:14.014
So the framework is called CLEAR,
and let me walk you through it.

00:16:14.173 --> 00:16:16.504
C-L-E-A-R.

00:16:16.803 --> 00:16:19.824
And this allows us to stay
calm and collected when

00:16:19.844 --> 00:16:22.364
things get spicy and heated.

00:16:23.103 --> 00:16:24.863
C is about checking yourself.

00:16:25.064 --> 00:16:26.914
You have to regulate your emotions.

00:16:26.944 --> 00:16:28.603
Take a beat and breathe.

00:16:28.644 --> 00:16:31.214
Many of us wanna respond
right away and get tense.

00:16:31.794 --> 00:16:33.134
L is about listening.

00:16:33.523 --> 00:16:35.714
Listen with receptiveness.

00:16:36.004 --> 00:16:38.014
Try to avoid judging and evaluating.

00:16:38.014 --> 00:16:41.024
We so quickly advance
to our point of view.

00:16:41.044 --> 00:16:42.923
We really have to receive theirs.

00:16:43.523 --> 00:16:45.263
Then E is for explore.

00:16:45.273 --> 00:16:50.303
Explore their perspective with an
open mindset and neutral questions.

00:16:50.753 --> 00:16:54.863
A is where you acknowledge what you've
heard before advocating for your position.

00:16:54.874 --> 00:16:57.313
Now, acknowledging doesn't mean you agree.

00:16:57.603 --> 00:16:59.154
It just means I heard you.

00:16:59.813 --> 00:17:03.464
And then the R in CLEAR stands
for respond strategically.

00:17:03.743 --> 00:17:06.913
This is where you leverage a structure
that I talk about in other parts of the

00:17:06.914 --> 00:17:10.423
book, like what, so what, now what, or
you've heard many structures on this show.

00:17:10.793 --> 00:17:15.324
But the response part comes
much later in the process.

00:17:15.563 --> 00:17:18.084
We have to do the initial work first.

00:17:18.084 --> 00:17:22.374
And if we do this, it helps us to
be more connected and grounded.

00:17:22.693 --> 00:17:27.804
And the reality is, most of conflict that
sparks in the moment is with people we're

00:17:27.804 --> 00:17:29.853
going to have future relationships with.

00:17:30.054 --> 00:17:34.323
So how we manage that conflict in
the moment not only helps us address

00:17:34.323 --> 00:17:38.643
that issue, but sets the path for how
we'll deal with issues in the future.

00:17:38.823 --> 00:17:41.633
So being CLEAR really does help.

00:17:42.353 --> 00:17:45.933
I think having a framework for a
high-stress situation like that or a

00:17:45.954 --> 00:17:47.793
conflict situation is so important.

00:17:47.804 --> 00:17:50.333
Like you said, like, it's just
our natural inclination to just

00:17:50.353 --> 00:17:52.723
respond right away or get upset.

00:17:52.993 --> 00:17:56.543
So you've given us a framework
now where we can, even if we don't

00:17:56.543 --> 00:17:59.683
remember the whole thing, like, okay,
we know there are some steps to think

00:17:59.693 --> 00:18:01.694
through before we react or respond.

00:18:01.743 --> 00:18:02.933
And that's true with any framework.

00:18:02.933 --> 00:18:05.103
You don't have to institute
every single step.

00:18:05.683 --> 00:18:08.634
You just have to leverage the ones that
you remember and that can help you in the

00:18:08.634 --> 00:18:10.614
moment, and over time, you can add more.

00:18:10.653 --> 00:18:10.983
Yeah.

00:18:11.003 --> 00:18:11.683
Great call-out.

00:18:11.853 --> 00:18:15.283
So I also wanna talk about your AI Matt
that people can engage with on your

00:18:15.293 --> 00:18:17.173
website, which I think is such a fun idea.

00:18:17.403 --> 00:18:20.473
I have thought about an AI Lorraine,
but haven't, haven't done it yet,

00:18:20.473 --> 00:18:23.573
so I'd love to hear the story
behind why you created AI Matt and

00:18:23.664 --> 00:18:25.083
how have people used it so far.

00:18:25.423 --> 00:18:27.403
I think an AI Lorraine would be fantastic.

00:18:27.403 --> 00:18:28.404
I will certainly use it.

00:18:28.423 --> 00:18:31.504
This is an organic thing that
originated in one of my classes.

00:18:31.504 --> 00:18:35.694
I was teaching a class, and one of my
students, Lucia, who is amazing, um,

00:18:35.774 --> 00:18:38.644
at the end of it said, "Hey, I think
I can build that." We were talking

00:18:38.644 --> 00:18:42.803
about AI and how AI can help you,
and especially with communication.

00:18:42.994 --> 00:18:46.574
When the issues pop up, they
are salient, relevant right now.

00:18:46.934 --> 00:18:49.364
Coaching is wonderful, and
coaching can prepare you.

00:18:49.614 --> 00:18:52.574
But sometimes things just happen in
the moment, and wouldn't it be nice

00:18:52.574 --> 00:18:53.914
to get some advice and guidance?

00:18:54.194 --> 00:18:57.654
And so she was able to build,
uh, AI Matt, and it's, it's my

00:18:57.654 --> 00:19:00.073
voice trained on all of my work.

00:19:00.524 --> 00:19:03.623
So that in that moment, you can
get the, the advice you need.

00:19:03.843 --> 00:19:05.934
It works just like making a phone call.

00:19:05.943 --> 00:19:07.003
So you take out your phone.

00:19:07.404 --> 00:19:10.953
You, you dial a number, you get a
text, you click on the link, and

00:19:10.953 --> 00:19:12.884
you're talking to me immediately.

00:19:12.884 --> 00:19:13.704
And people,

00:19:13.714 --> 00:19:14.653
Oh, it's your actual voice.

00:19:14.683 --> 00:19:15.494
It's my voice.

00:19:15.503 --> 00:19:15.953
Wow.

00:19:16.023 --> 00:19:18.903
Uh, people have shared just
wonderful ways in which it's helped.

00:19:18.993 --> 00:19:22.363
I'll, I'll tell you, my wife actually
likes talking to it better than me.

00:19:22.703 --> 00:19:23.913
She says it listens better.

00:19:24.124 --> 00:19:25.643
Uh, my two sons have used it.

00:19:25.644 --> 00:19:28.183
They tried to make it do naughty things.

00:19:28.293 --> 00:19:28.873
And it didn't.

00:19:28.873 --> 00:19:30.383
So it, it's hopefully very safe.

00:19:30.383 --> 00:19:30.833
It's foolproof, yeah.

00:19:30.953 --> 00:19:35.753
But really what it's trying to fill
is that, that one area that coaching

00:19:35.754 --> 00:19:39.153
and teaching can't, which is I'm
in this moment of high stress,

00:19:39.423 --> 00:19:41.514
high context, high relevance.

00:19:41.783 --> 00:19:43.494
What advice can I get?

00:19:43.513 --> 00:19:46.693
And you can get that advice
7 by 24 through the tool.

00:19:46.914 --> 00:19:47.893
It's a lot of fun.

00:19:47.903 --> 00:19:49.843
And people can try it
out for 10 minutes free.

00:19:49.843 --> 00:19:53.173
Just go to fastersmarter.io,
click on it, try it out.

00:19:53.173 --> 00:19:55.294
If you like it, you can
do even more with it.

00:19:55.443 --> 00:19:56.053
Amazing.

00:19:56.053 --> 00:19:56.283
Love it.

00:19:56.283 --> 00:19:56.554
All right.

00:19:56.554 --> 00:19:57.294
You've inspired me.

00:19:57.654 --> 00:19:57.854
Cool.

00:19:58.044 --> 00:20:01.303
If you listen to Think Fast, Talk Smart,
you know I believe communication is

00:20:01.303 --> 00:20:03.224
something we can all get better at.

00:20:03.453 --> 00:20:06.433
And getting better takes more
than simply learning new ideas.

00:20:06.553 --> 00:20:07.654
It takes practice.

00:20:07.974 --> 00:20:11.724
That's why I love teaching communication
essentials for work and life

00:20:11.733 --> 00:20:13.873
through Stanford Continuing Studies.

00:20:14.224 --> 00:20:18.656
We explore the communication challenges
that show up in everyday life, how

00:20:18.696 --> 00:20:22.416
to be more persuasive, tell better
stories, strengthen your presence,

00:20:22.456 --> 00:20:26.686
navigate difficult conversations, and
connect with others more effectively.

00:20:27.025 --> 00:20:30.316
Along the way, you'll hear from
expert guest speakers, learn

00:20:30.316 --> 00:20:33.685
practical techniques, and most
importantly, have opportunities

00:20:33.686 --> 00:20:35.715
to put those ideas into practice.

00:20:36.135 --> 00:20:40.876
My goal is simple: to help you become
a more confident, clear, and effective

00:20:40.896 --> 00:20:43.565
communicator at work and in your life.

00:20:43.975 --> 00:20:47.426
If that sounds like something you'd like
to work on, I'd love to have you join me.

00:20:47.735 --> 00:20:53.025
Learn more and sign up at
continuingstudies.stanford.edu/tfts.

00:20:56.625 --> 00:21:00.845
That's
continuingstudies.stanford.edu/tfts.

00:21:01.456 --> 00:21:04.445
All right, Matt, so I mean,
our time has flown by together.

00:21:04.576 --> 00:21:08.486
I would like to close out how you
usually do by asking you three questions.

00:21:08.486 --> 00:21:11.345
So one I created for you, and
the other two are the ones

00:21:11.346 --> 00:21:12.656
that you ask all your guests.

00:21:12.695 --> 00:21:13.335
Are you ready?

00:21:13.895 --> 00:21:14.905
I think so.

00:21:14.935 --> 00:21:17.446
This is, this is different
being on this side of the table.

00:21:17.446 --> 00:21:18.216
But yes.

00:21:18.715 --> 00:21:20.255
I was excited to come
up with these questions.

00:21:20.285 --> 00:21:20.586
All right.

00:21:20.875 --> 00:21:24.755
So the first one is, for someone
who's wanting to use AI to become

00:21:24.755 --> 00:21:27.925
a better communicator, what is
one action they can take today?

00:21:27.935 --> 00:21:29.496
'Cause there's a lot we can do, right?

00:21:29.566 --> 00:21:32.295
So if you had to recommend the one
thing, what would you recommend?

00:21:32.655 --> 00:21:37.875
The first thing that I would do is I
would immediately go to AI and share

00:21:37.886 --> 00:21:42.256
whatever the skill is you're looking to
improve and ask for it to give you some

00:21:42.265 --> 00:21:43.766
suggestions about how to improve it.

00:21:43.805 --> 00:21:48.605
AI does a really good job of
setting out plans and processes.

00:21:48.625 --> 00:21:51.655
Now, you might not agree or you might not
wanna do the order, but I would start by

00:21:51.655 --> 00:21:56.495
saying, "Hey, I am somebody who really
wants to work on improving my gestures

00:21:56.495 --> 00:22:01.096
when I speak. What are two or three
things I should start doing right away?"

00:22:01.305 --> 00:22:04.825
And it might come back and say something
very simple, say, "Hey, as you speak,

00:22:05.085 --> 00:22:08.786
uh, use descriptive gestures as
you're talking." So if you describe

00:22:08.786 --> 00:22:10.175
something that's big, show big.

00:22:10.185 --> 00:22:12.215
If you're describing something
that increases, show that.

00:22:12.565 --> 00:22:16.145
But it will be, do a very good job
of giving you some initial steps.

00:22:16.145 --> 00:22:18.065
And then from there, you can get moving.

00:22:18.065 --> 00:22:20.695
What I find with my students
and the people I coach is the

00:22:20.695 --> 00:22:22.385
first step is the hardest.

00:22:22.615 --> 00:22:26.705
And if AI can help you start that path
you're gonna be in a better place.

00:22:27.086 --> 00:22:29.846
Something I like you did with that
prompt as well is you were really

00:22:29.846 --> 00:22:33.336
specific with it, which is something I
say anytime you're asking for feedback.

00:22:33.396 --> 00:22:37.046
So you're going to get a better response
the more helpful input you can put in.

00:22:37.066 --> 00:22:37.596
Absolutely.

00:22:37.596 --> 00:22:40.026
The more specific the ask,
the more specific the detail.

00:22:40.126 --> 00:22:40.726
All right.

00:22:40.805 --> 00:22:42.616
I'm excited to hear your
answer for this one.

00:22:42.876 --> 00:22:45.356
Who is a communicator
that you admire and why?

00:22:45.615 --> 00:22:47.305
I am somebody who loves comedy.

00:22:47.695 --> 00:22:51.905
And the comedian that I admire
the most is Robin Williams.

00:22:52.035 --> 00:22:53.016
Oh, great.

00:22:53.016 --> 00:22:53.186
Yeah.

00:22:53.186 --> 00:22:59.035
Not only was he incredibly well-versed,
he was able to bring together lots of

00:22:59.035 --> 00:23:01.226
really deep, rich intellectual ideas.

00:23:01.685 --> 00:23:04.995
But he could do so in the
moment and on the spot.

00:23:05.016 --> 00:23:07.815
And as somebody who has studied
spontaneous communication, written

00:23:07.816 --> 00:23:09.956
about it, I am amazed at his ability.

00:23:09.975 --> 00:23:13.426
When I was younger, when I was in my
late teens, I actually had an opportunity

00:23:13.426 --> 00:23:15.096
to see a show where he performed live.

00:23:15.096 --> 00:23:15.435
Wow.

00:23:15.865 --> 00:23:17.775
And I, uh, I am kidding.

00:23:17.795 --> 00:23:19.846
This is absolutely the
honest to goodness truth.

00:23:19.856 --> 00:23:24.035
Uh, my, my stomach hurt for two days
afterwards I was laughing so hard.

00:23:24.055 --> 00:23:26.215
And I am convinced I only
understood half the jokes.

00:23:26.725 --> 00:23:30.255
And most of his routine
that night was made up.

00:23:30.295 --> 00:23:33.835
He had some stuff that he had prepared,
but he engaged the audience and just,

00:23:34.126 --> 00:23:40.715
and it was amazing to see how he had the
ability to connect ideas together, and

00:23:40.715 --> 00:23:42.695
he was able to just be really present.

00:23:42.725 --> 00:23:45.216
And those are skills that
I really admire in people.

00:23:45.485 --> 00:23:47.216
And I was really, really impressed.

00:23:47.216 --> 00:23:49.785
And, and it, it's unfortunate
that he's no longer with us,

00:23:49.785 --> 00:23:51.115
but I really admire his work.

00:23:51.196 --> 00:23:51.466
Yeah.

00:23:51.495 --> 00:23:53.235
Well, how amazing you got to see him live.

00:23:53.605 --> 00:23:56.725
And last question, what are the
first three ingredients that go into

00:23:56.725 --> 00:23:58.596
a successful communication recipe?

00:23:59.035 --> 00:24:01.555
The most frequent bit of advice
anybody has given on this

00:24:01.556 --> 00:24:03.475
show is know your audience.

00:24:03.485 --> 00:24:04.635
It's all about your audience.

00:24:04.656 --> 00:24:06.985
We must be audience centric.

00:24:07.406 --> 00:24:10.096
Second, we have to be goal directed.

00:24:10.355 --> 00:24:13.115
Communication often
strives towards a goal.

00:24:13.115 --> 00:24:14.165
We have to know that goal.

00:24:14.165 --> 00:24:16.946
And anybody who's listened to me
knows the goal is three things.

00:24:16.946 --> 00:24:17.895
Know, feel, do.

00:24:18.185 --> 00:24:22.595
So have a, have your audience, be clear
in your mind, have a clear goal, and

00:24:22.705 --> 00:24:24.675
of course, you have to have structure.

00:24:24.836 --> 00:24:28.705
If all you do is list and ramble, you
are going to confuse your audience.

00:24:28.705 --> 00:24:31.505
You're going to reduce fidelity
and put yourself at a deficit.

00:24:31.516 --> 00:24:35.255
So for me, it's audience,
it's goal, it's structure.

00:24:35.265 --> 00:24:39.506
Those three things can help anybody, I
believe, be an effective communicator.

00:24:39.950 --> 00:24:41.290
Plus 100 to all of that.

00:24:42.300 --> 00:24:46.080
So Matt, this has been so interesting,
so enlightening, so fun to be

00:24:46.080 --> 00:24:48.660
able to be on the other side
and, and hear all your insights.

00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:51.160
Um, your updated book is
going to be so, so helpful.

00:24:51.169 --> 00:24:53.720
Thank you for sharing your
expertise with all of us today,

00:24:53.990 --> 00:24:55.289
and for sharing your host chair.

00:24:55.560 --> 00:24:58.419
Lorraine, thank you so much for
taking the time to join me here and

00:24:58.430 --> 00:25:00.160
for asking such great questions.

00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:01.839
You made an excellent interviewer.

00:25:02.249 --> 00:25:05.030
I really appreciate your time
and thoughtfulness and, and

00:25:05.030 --> 00:25:06.259
all the best on your book.

00:25:06.509 --> 00:25:07.159
Thank you.

00:25:07.809 --> 00:25:10.219
Thank you for joining us
for another episode of Think

00:25:10.219 --> 00:25:12.390
Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:16.509
To learn more from Lorraine,
please listen to her episode 202.

00:25:16.549 --> 00:25:21.780
To learn more about what I discuss, please
get a copy of Think Faster, Talk Smarter.

00:25:22.220 --> 00:25:25.270
This episode was produced by
Katherine Reed, Alex McCarthy,

00:25:25.270 --> 00:25:27.889
Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

00:25:28.139 --> 00:25:32.319
Our music is from Floyd Wonder, with
special thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

00:25:32.819 --> 00:25:36.279
Please find us on YouTube and
wherever you get your podcasts.

00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:41.189
Be sure to check out fastersmarter.io
for deep dive videos, English language

00:25:41.189 --> 00:25:43.529
learning content, and our newsletter.