Rachel Greenwald has listened to thousands of first-date debriefs. She found the ONE question that tells her how each one went.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, host Matt Abrahams welcomes back Rachel Greenwald, executive fellow at Harvard Business School, professional matchmaker, and co-teacher of Stanford's Designing for Love class. Rachel returns after her fan-favorite episode on small talk basics. This time she brings the advanced course: how to move from playing defense to playing offense, turning forgettable openings into bridges toward the topics that make you memorable.
Together, they discuss:
• Three pre-Googled conversation starters turn the worst minute into a warm-up.
• A toilet-shopping opener can beat the most polished “Hello!”.
• How to bring up Taboo topics like money (HINT: chase the story, not the stance!)
• The two-second test called DBB that Rachel filters every reply through.
• The one question that the matchmaker grades every date off of. (And it’s not “Was there a spark?”)
Rachel's version of spontaneous small talk has a blueprint behind it: three topics in your pocket, one ready bridge, questions that chase stories, and the nerve to skip the polish. Press play and get ready to steal her warm-up!
About The Guest
Rachel Greenwald is an executive fellow at Harvard Business School, a professional matchmaker and dating coach, and the New York Times bestselling author of Find a Husband After 35 and Have Him at Hello. An HBS MBA whose work is credited with more than 900 marriages, she teaches communication and relationship building for work, love, and life, and co-teaches the Designing for Love class at Stanford's d.school with Professor Tina Seelig.
About Matt
Matt Abrahams is a leading communication expert, lecturer in organizational behavior at Stanford GSB, and host of the award-winning Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast. He has coached presenters at TED, the World Economic Forum, and the UN Secretary-General's office, and his online talks have garnered millions of views worldwide. He is the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter and Speaking Up without Freaking Out, two bestselling guides to confident, spontaneous communication.
Key Quotes
• "Everybody hates small talk because mostly it's so boring and awkward." - Rachel Greenwald (01:35)
• "You have to have a plan going into these conversations, because you can't expect to come up with something like that on the spot." - Rachel Greenwald (03:28)
• "Personal branding gets a bad reputation as being manipulative, or like you're bragging or showing off." - Rachel Greenwald (05:06)
• "What's important is how you argue, not what you're arguing about." - Rachel Greenwald (15:11)
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:52 From White Flag to Black Belt
01:35 Playing Offense With Your Brand
04:36 The Kilimanjaro Bridge
05:02 Are You Bragging or Hosting?
08:33 Winning the First 60 Seconds
10:35 “Start in the MIDDLE!”
12:48 Topics Nobody Wants to Touch
17:44 Matt's 3 Questions
26:03 Conclusion
Relevant Links:
• Rachel Greenwald: https://www.fastersmarter.io/guests/rachel-greenwald/
Episode References:
• Ep. 89 Listen, Listen, Listen: How to Build Deep Connections
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzdNdPmOsnY / https://www.fastersmarter.io/89-listen-listen-listen-how-to-build-deep-connections/
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