229. Rethinks: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot


To celebrate its second anniversary, we revisit our favourite tools and tips from Matt’s book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter.
Original executive producer Jenny Luna turns the tables and interviews host and strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams about his bestselling book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot. To celebrate the book’s second anniversary, this special Rethinks episode dives into Matt’s most practical tips, powerful frameworks, and mindset shifts to help you speak with confidence in any spontaneous situation. From managing anxiety to structuring your thoughts on the fly, it’s filled with tools to help you become a more effective communicator.
Episode Reference Links:
- Jenny Luna
- Think Faster Talk Smarter
- Ep.10 High-Stakes Communication: How to Manage Anxiety When Speaking in Front of Others
- Ep.112 From Mistakes to "Missed Takes"
- Ep.107 Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot
Connect:
- Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium
- Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io
- Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
- Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
- Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
- Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn
Chapters:
- (00:00) - Introduction
- (03:15) - Defining Spontaneous Speaking
- (04:05) - Origins of Matt’s Interest
- (04:56) - The Six-Step Methodology
- (05:41) - Shifting Your Mindset
- (09:51) - Practical Structures for Speaking
- (12:06) - The “F-Word” of Spontaneous Speaking
- (13:39) - Communication Lessons from Martial Arts
- (14:59) - The Karate Pants Story
- (16:55) - Hosting 100 Episodes
- (18:10) - On-the-Spot Challenges
- (24:38) - Conclusion
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00:00 - Introduction
03:15 - Defining Spontaneous Speaking
04:05 - Origins of Matt’s Interest
04:56 - The Six-Step Methodology
05:41 - Shifting Your Mindset
09:51 - Practical Structures for Speaking
12:06 - The “F-Word” of Spontaneous Speaking
13:39 - Communication Lessons from Martial Arts
14:59 - The Karate Pants Story
16:55 - Hosting 100 Episodes
18:10 - On-the-Spot Challenges
24:38 - Conclusion
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Matt Abrahams: Hi, Matt here.
00:00:04.470 --> 00:00:06.720
Being put on the spot and
having to communicate in the
00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:08.520
moment can be really stressful.
00:00:08.940 --> 00:00:13.350
In celebration of the two year anniversary
of my book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter:
00:00:13.350 --> 00:00:16.950
How to Speak Successfully When Put on
the Spot, we're going back into our
00:00:16.950 --> 00:00:21.390
vault for a Rethinks episode where I
speak with Jenny Luna, our original
00:00:21.390 --> 00:00:25.530
executive producer, about ways to
feel more comfortable and confident
00:00:25.560 --> 00:00:27.360
when you have to speak in the moment.
00:00:27.570 --> 00:00:30.540
Before we start the episode though,
I wanted to quickly share that while
00:00:30.540 --> 00:00:34.635
I learned a ton writing the book, I
am amazed at how much I continue to
00:00:34.635 --> 00:00:39.135
learn from readers all over the world
who share their stories and successes
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since reading or listening to the book.
00:00:41.625 --> 00:00:45.735
Beyond the English edition, the book
is now in fifteen other languages.
00:00:46.065 --> 00:00:49.635
I thank all of you for taking the
time to learn from the book, and I am
00:00:49.635 --> 00:00:53.504
thrilled that so many people around
the world are working to hone and
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develop their spontaneous speaking.
00:00:55.635 --> 00:00:58.004
Thank you, and on with the show.
00:00:59.385 --> 00:01:03.210
I gotta admit, I'm both
excited and a little nervous.
00:01:03.450 --> 00:01:04.530
I'm in the hot seat.
00:01:05.354 --> 00:01:06.285
Jenny Luna: I'm Jenny Luna.
00:01:06.524 --> 00:01:09.795
Welcome to Think Fast
Talk Smart, the podcast.
00:01:10.515 --> 00:01:13.875
Today we have a bit of a twist
on our normal episode format.
00:01:14.294 --> 00:01:18.405
I'm going to sit in the host seat
and put Matt in the hot seat.
00:01:19.215 --> 00:01:23.505
Matt's new book, Think Faster, Talk
Smarter: How to Speak Successfully
00:01:23.505 --> 00:01:26.535
When You're Put On The Spot,
launches at the end of this month.
00:01:27.134 --> 00:01:30.405
So I thought it would be fun to put
him in the hot seat and ask him his
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thoughts on spontaneous speaking.
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Welcome.
00:01:33.315 --> 00:01:34.665
Matt, are you ready for this?
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Matt Abrahams: I am super
excited for this, Jenny.
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Thank you.
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I'm gonna do my best to think
faster and talk smarter.
00:01:40.095 --> 00:01:40.425
Jenny Luna: Okay.
00:01:40.575 --> 00:01:41.355
Let's get started.
00:01:41.655 --> 00:01:43.815
Your new book is on spontaneous speaking.
00:01:44.295 --> 00:01:48.140
How do you define that and what made
you wanna focus on that for your book?
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Matt Abrahams: Throughout my life, I
have always been spontaneous speaking.
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With the last name, Abrahams,
AB, I have always gone first.
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So in elementary school, in high school,
even in college and graduate school, I was
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always the first person asked to speak.
00:02:03.074 --> 00:02:04.365
I know what it feels like to
00:02:04.365 --> 00:02:06.150
be put on the spot.
00:02:06.150 --> 00:02:07.935
And that's really what spontaneous
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Matt Abrahams: speaking is all about.
00:02:08.984 --> 00:02:14.085
It's about that moment where you are
called on to step up and say something.
00:02:14.085 --> 00:02:18.255
Maybe it's answering a question, giving
feedback in the moment, fixing a mistake
00:02:18.255 --> 00:02:23.055
you made, being called on to introduce
somebody, or even during small talk.
00:02:23.055 --> 00:02:27.465
So spontaneous speaking, if you think
about it happens all the time in our
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personal lives and our professional lives.
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Jenny Luna: I didn't realize this had
such personal roots for you, Matt.
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I really like that.
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And so how did you come to be
interested in kind of helping
00:02:38.190 --> 00:02:39.750
others with this concept?
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:42.270
Matt Abrahams: About a decade ago,
the deans at the business school
00:02:42.270 --> 00:02:45.510
came to me with a problem, and the
problem was that our incredibly
00:02:45.510 --> 00:02:50.280
bright students were panicking and
choking in cold call situations.
00:02:50.280 --> 00:02:52.290
You know, where the professor
says, what do you think?
00:02:52.290 --> 00:02:53.280
And you have to respond.
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Our students who knew the
answers, who were very bright,
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could not in the moment respond.
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And they asked me, can you help?
00:03:00.135 --> 00:03:04.785
As a result of that, I got very
interested in exploring how we can
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be better speakers in the moment.
00:03:06.585 --> 00:03:10.605
And through doing research on my
own, looking into other fields, and
00:03:10.605 --> 00:03:13.665
collaborating with people here at the
business school, but especially with my
00:03:13.665 --> 00:03:18.345
colleague from the arts department, Adam
Tobin, who's an excellent improviser,
00:03:18.675 --> 00:03:20.505
came up with a lot of this content.
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Jenny Luna: Interesting.
00:03:22.095 --> 00:03:22.365
Okay.
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And I know you are famous around campus
and out in the world for this six step
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methodology on spontaneous speaking.
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Can you walk us through those steps?
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Matt Abrahams: Famous is a big word,
uh, but, uh, I, I've definitely spent
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a lot of time talking about this.
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The methodology that I've come up
with, and that we walk all of our MBA
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students through, they can opt in to
learn this content, and most of them do.
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It's really divided into two
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major areas, mindset and messaging.
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So we have
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Matt Abrahams: to adjust our
mindset, and part of mindset is also
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dealing with anxiety and listening.
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And then messaging is about
how we structure our messages,
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and then how do we focus them.
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On this podcast, we've
talked a lot about structure.
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We've talked a lot about being
concise and clear, and those are all
00:04:04.875 --> 00:04:06.585
part of the six step methodology.
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Jenny Luna: Yeah, I, we've talked
a lot about managing anxiety a
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few times on this podcast, we've
had a lot of guests talk about it.
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You did a whole episode
on it a few years ago.
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It's one of our more popular
episodes among listeners.
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Uh, so let's, let's drill down more into
the mindset part of your methodology.
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Can you help us understand these different
shifts that you suggest in a mindset?
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And also tell us what you mean when you
write in the book about missed takes.
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Matt Abrahams: The way we approach
communication period, but especially
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spontaneous communication, really matters.
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There are a couple key mindset
shifts I think that we, we should
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adopt to feel more comfortable and
confident in spontaneous situations.
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First is, we often strive for perfection,
and I would argue that we should
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rather be looking for connection.
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On the very first day of the strategic
communication class I co-teach,
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I have the audacity to say to my
students, maximize your mediocrity.
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And Jenny, you should see their jaws drop.
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These students have never
been told to be mediocre, but
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:14.280
here's the logic behind that.
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When we strive to be great, when
we strive to be right or perfect
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in our communication, it actually
prevents us from doing it well at all.
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And it comes down to a simple
issue of cognitive bandwidth.
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Think of your brain as a computer.
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It's not a perfect analogy, but when
you're running your, your laptop or
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your phone, and you have lots of apps
or windows open, your computer is not
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running as effectively as it could.
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In, in essence, everything's
a little slower.
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The same thing is true when you're
speaking and you're monitoring
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everything you're saying and judging
and evaluating it as you're saying
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it, or even before you're saying it.
00:05:48.419 --> 00:05:49.800
You're not as effective.
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So when we dial the volume down,
we can actually perform better.
00:05:56.234 --> 00:05:58.935
I'm not saying we shouldn't judge
and evaluate what we say, we should,
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but if we turn the volume down a
little bit, we can do it better.
00:06:01.575 --> 00:06:05.474
So the whole saying I tell my students
on that first day, is maximize
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mediocrity so you can achieve greatness.
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When we focus on connecting
with our audience, delivering a
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message that's relevant for them,
we can actually do it better if
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we're not judging and evaluating.
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So that's the first mindset shift.
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Connection over perfection.
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The second is to see these
spontaneous speaking situations as
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opportunities rather than threats.
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Many of us, when we're put under
the gauntlet of Q and A, or asked
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for feedback in the moment, we feel
like we have to defend our position.
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We have to be perfect in
the threat of challenge.
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And so how do we deal with that?
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We get in a very tight body posture.
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Our responses are, are curt and short.
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Our tone is harsh.
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If we see these as opportunities,
as the ability to connect,
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to expand, to collaborate, it
changes completely how we feel.
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Now, I'm not naive.
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I know people do actually challenge
us, but even in those moments,
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if we see it as an opportunity to
connect, it really changes things.
00:07:04.095 --> 00:07:07.005
So we wanna strive for
connection over perfection.
00:07:07.005 --> 00:07:09.495
We wanna see these
circumstances as opportunities.
00:07:09.495 --> 00:07:13.335
And then finally, many of
us fear making mistakes.
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We don't wanna make mistakes.
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And as we've talked about on this podcast
before, mistakes are ways that we learn.
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You, you have to break a few things in
order to actually learn and progress.
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So I like to encourage people to
reframe how they see mistakes.
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And, and, you know, in the
making of films or television,
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they, they do lots of takes.
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We've all seen that little
clapboard that comes down.
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They say, take one, take two.
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I think if we see our communication
and the, and the things that go
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wrong, as missed takes rather than
mistakes, it can really help us.
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So when a movie director is looking
at a particular scene, she might be
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asking the actors to do it again and
again, different takes, not because any
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one take is wrong, but because they're
looking for something a little different.
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Maybe you do it standing
up versus sitting.
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Maybe you put a little more emotion
in one part versus the other.
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So when things don't go the way we want
them to, if we see them as a missed
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take, just another opportunity to do it
differently next time, that feels very
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different than having gotten it wrong.
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So those three mindset shifts can make
a big difference in our communication.
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Jenny Luna: I love this concept
of turning the volume down,
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turning the internal volume down.
00:08:21.980 --> 00:08:26.520
And then taking things not as threats,
but as opportunities, and then reframing
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into a missed take instead of a mistake.
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That's great.
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When it
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comes to structure, I love in your book
00:08:34.515 --> 00:08:38.235
Jenny Luna: how you provide series
of examples and advice for situations
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we find ourselves in like small talk,
making an apology, giving a toast, or
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an introduction, and giving feedback.
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That's a big one.
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Um, the one structure that I put into use
right away was your pitching structure.
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Can you share that with listeners and then
give an example of pitching structure?
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Matt Abrahams: Sure.
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So often we're in these circumstances
where we have to sell an idea
00:09:01.380 --> 00:09:04.260
or sell a product or a service,
and we're put on the spot.
00:09:04.260 --> 00:09:06.449
You, you literally get in
the elevator with somebody
00:09:06.449 --> 00:09:07.290
and they say, what do you do?
00:09:07.290 --> 00:09:10.350
And you have to give that elevator
pitch, and it can be hard.
00:09:10.590 --> 00:09:13.680
As a result of work I've done here
at the business school with lots
00:09:13.680 --> 00:09:18.420
of entrepreneurs, I developed a
four sentence structured pitch.
00:09:18.449 --> 00:09:21.540
If you finish these sentence
starters, you have a good pitch.
00:09:21.540 --> 00:09:27.915
And they are, what if you could, so
that, for example, and that's not all.
00:09:28.185 --> 00:09:32.985
So if you finish each one of those,
it gives you a really tight, clear
00:09:33.314 --> 00:09:37.095
pitch and idea of what it is that
you are selling, if you will.
00:09:37.545 --> 00:09:42.615
So let's say I was explaining to somebody
about our podcast, Think Fast Talk Smart,
00:09:42.615 --> 00:09:44.925
something that you do amazing work for.
00:09:45.525 --> 00:09:48.285
And somebody, let's say I'm in
an elevator, or I'm at a small
00:09:48.285 --> 00:09:50.145
talk, uh, chitchat situation.
00:09:50.145 --> 00:09:52.095
Somebody says, tell me about your podcast.
00:09:52.485 --> 00:09:57.975
I would say, what if you could learn
to hone and develop your communication
00:09:57.975 --> 00:10:01.935
skills, so that you can achieve your
personal and professional goals?
00:10:02.295 --> 00:10:06.495
For example, you could learn how to be
more confident, more persuasive, and
00:10:06.495 --> 00:10:08.655
even more creative in your communication.
00:10:09.045 --> 00:10:12.165
And that's not all, you'll join
a wonderful community of other
00:10:12.165 --> 00:10:15.314
people who are also trying to
build their communication skills.
00:10:15.944 --> 00:10:19.155
Do you hear how just finishing
those four sentences really
00:10:19.155 --> 00:10:21.015
provides a tight, clear pitch?
00:10:21.405 --> 00:10:26.265
It makes it relevant, it makes
it impactful, and memorable.
00:10:26.445 --> 00:10:27.225
Jenny Luna: I'm sold.
00:10:27.225 --> 00:10:29.505
This sounds like a fantastic podcast.
00:10:29.595 --> 00:10:30.615
Matt Abrahams: Well, you
should listen to it, maybe.
00:10:31.935 --> 00:10:34.635
Jenny Luna: Uh, something that
we hear time and again from our
00:10:34.635 --> 00:10:38.175
guests, and from our listeners, is
how well you do with paraphrasing,
00:10:38.535 --> 00:10:40.515
being concise and being clear.
00:10:41.085 --> 00:10:44.055
You have a chapter in your
new book, what you call the F
00:10:44.055 --> 00:10:45.975
word of spontaneous speaking.
00:10:46.275 --> 00:10:48.405
So can you give us some advice around that
00:10:48.615 --> 00:10:51.135
Matt Abrahams: F word for focus,
not that naughty word that some
00:10:51.135 --> 00:10:52.365
of you were, were talking about.
00:10:52.365 --> 00:10:56.655
I think paraphrasing is a critical
tool in communication, and one of the
00:10:56.655 --> 00:11:01.065
ways that you can be more focused is
to make sure that what you're saying is
00:11:01.065 --> 00:11:02.660
relevant and targeted to your audience.
00:11:03.260 --> 00:11:06.710
Asking clarifying questions
and paraphrasing serves as
00:11:06.710 --> 00:11:08.360
a tool to help you focus.
00:11:08.630 --> 00:11:13.190
So if we are in a conversation and you
ask me for feedback, I could jump right
00:11:13.190 --> 00:11:17.000
into giving feedback or I might say, I
might ask you a question, uh, do you want
00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:20.240
feedback about what you said or about what
we could do differently in the future?
00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:23.090
And that clarifying
question helps me focus.
00:11:23.450 --> 00:11:28.040
So there's a lot we can do to help focus
our messages based on what we do before
00:11:28.040 --> 00:11:29.930
we actually provide those messages.
00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:33.810
Certainly there are things we can
do once we're speaking as well.
00:11:33.990 --> 00:11:38.970
I'm a huge fan of trying to eliminate
extraneous words or acronyms or jargon.
00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:44.790
So really focusing on focusing our
messages is critical, especially in
00:11:44.790 --> 00:11:49.230
spontaneous speaking because so often
we are actually taking people along
00:11:49.230 --> 00:11:52.590
the journey of ourselves discovering
what we want to say as we say it,
00:11:52.860 --> 00:11:54.445
and we say much more than we need to.
00:11:55.260 --> 00:11:57.630
Jenny, you've heard me say this
many times, but I'll share it again.
00:11:57.959 --> 00:12:00.780
My mother has this wonderful saying
that gets to the heart of this.
00:12:01.140 --> 00:12:02.189
Tell me the time.
00:12:02.339 --> 00:12:03.719
Don't build me the clock.
00:12:04.050 --> 00:12:06.780
Jenny Luna: Focus is a great
segue into my next question.
00:12:06.780 --> 00:12:11.910
We've had a lot of guests talk about
mindfulness, taking a pause, focusing
00:12:11.910 --> 00:12:14.775
on the breath, when we're getting
anxious about our communication.
00:12:15.705 --> 00:12:19.095
I know that you practiced martial arts
and you have for many years, right?
00:12:19.395 --> 00:12:21.285
Matt Abrahams: I have decades, yes.
00:12:21.435 --> 00:12:24.015
Jenny Luna: So what similarities,
I'm curious, do you see between
00:12:24.015 --> 00:12:26.445
communication and martial arts?
00:12:26.865 --> 00:12:28.935
Matt Abrahams: I love this question
and, and thank you for asking.
00:12:28.935 --> 00:12:32.295
I don't often share about my martial
arts journey, but I, I've been doing
00:12:32.295 --> 00:12:33.975
the martial arts for four decades now.
00:12:34.005 --> 00:12:35.655
I've, I've studied many, many styles.
00:12:35.655 --> 00:12:38.775
I still, uh, participate and
teach the martial arts today.
00:12:39.315 --> 00:12:43.355
And it, it's been so instructive
to me in so many ways.
00:12:43.465 --> 00:12:47.280
But in terms of communication, the
martial arts teach you to be present,
00:12:47.819 --> 00:12:55.530
to respond to what's happening in front
of you, to think about how your moves,
00:12:55.530 --> 00:12:59.490
or what it is that you do, impacts
not just the person in front of you,
00:12:59.495 --> 00:13:00.865
but the environment and situation.
00:13:01.005 --> 00:13:04.620
And all of those are
mirrored in communication.
00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:09.120
I am a better communicator because of my
martial arts and perhaps a better martial
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:10.860
artist because of my communication.
00:13:11.219 --> 00:13:12.750
But they're, they're intimately linked.
00:13:13.020 --> 00:13:17.400
I encourage everybody to try to
find a physical practice that can
00:13:17.400 --> 00:13:21.390
inform our day-to-day interactions
and who we are in the world.
00:13:21.390 --> 00:13:23.459
And for me, the martial
arts have done that.
00:13:24.479 --> 00:13:27.449
Jenny Luna: I know you tell a
great story about a martial arts
00:13:27.449 --> 00:13:29.939
experience you had as a young person.
00:13:29.939 --> 00:13:33.120
I'm wondering if you can tell
that story again just while we
00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:34.560
have more listeners right now.
00:13:36.105 --> 00:13:36.855
Matt Abrahams: Thank you, Jenny.
00:13:37.365 --> 00:13:42.135
The, perhaps the most embarrassing
moment of my entire life happened
00:13:42.135 --> 00:13:43.605
when I was a fourteen year old boy.
00:13:43.635 --> 00:13:48.465
On the very first day of my freshman
year, my English professor had all of us
00:13:48.465 --> 00:13:51.075
stand up and tell what we did that summer.
00:13:51.435 --> 00:13:55.145
Of course, I went first, as I said,
uh, being first row first seat.
00:13:55.704 --> 00:13:57.795
And at the end of the day, he
came up to me and said, Matt,
00:13:57.795 --> 00:13:59.204
you're good at this talking thing.
00:13:59.265 --> 00:14:01.185
I need you to go to
this speech tournament.
00:14:01.364 --> 00:14:04.454
I think every teacher had to send
one student from their classes.
00:14:04.454 --> 00:14:05.505
So I was his student.
00:14:06.074 --> 00:14:08.145
And he said, give a speech on
something that's important to you.
00:14:08.145 --> 00:14:10.064
So begrudgingly I went.
00:14:10.064 --> 00:14:12.435
I put on, you know, I had
my dad tie a tie for me.
00:14:12.435 --> 00:14:14.114
I was wearing pants
that were way too short.
00:14:14.114 --> 00:14:15.255
I had grown over the summer.
00:14:15.584 --> 00:14:19.125
I show up seven thirty in the morning,
giving a speech on the martial arts.
00:14:19.125 --> 00:14:20.834
That was important to
me then as it is now.
00:14:21.535 --> 00:14:24.600
And in the room are forty or fifty people.
00:14:24.870 --> 00:14:27.450
The parents of my friends who
are judging, my friends, the
00:14:27.450 --> 00:14:28.950
girl I liked is in the room.
00:14:29.939 --> 00:14:30.810
It's my turn to go.
00:14:31.290 --> 00:14:32.490
I'm so nervous.
00:14:32.490 --> 00:14:33.600
I am so nervous.
00:14:34.199 --> 00:14:37.680
So nervous that I forgot to
put on my special karate pants.
00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:40.110
If you know anything about the martial
arts, the pants you wear are very
00:14:40.110 --> 00:14:41.640
loose fitting so you can do kicks.
00:14:41.640 --> 00:14:44.969
And that's exactly how I started
my speech, with a karate kick.
00:14:44.969 --> 00:14:48.540
It got everybody's attention, and it
really got their attention, because
00:14:48.540 --> 00:14:50.910
when I did this kick, I ripped my pants.
00:14:50.910 --> 00:14:53.730
I kid you not, from zipper to belt buckle.
00:14:53.990 --> 00:14:56.310
In the first ten seconds
of a ten minute speech.
00:14:56.790 --> 00:15:01.949
And it is at that moment, and from that
moment, that I became fascinated by
00:15:01.949 --> 00:15:04.665
the impact of anxiety on communication.
00:15:04.665 --> 00:15:07.995
And that's what really motivated
me to actually study it and do
00:15:08.055 --> 00:15:12.855
everything that I've done, all
goes back to that gym on a Saturday
00:15:12.855 --> 00:15:14.295
morning as a fourteen year old boy.
00:15:14.295 --> 00:15:17.535
So yes, the martial arts
had a huge impact on me.
00:15:17.595 --> 00:15:20.415
It exposed me to so many things,
literally and figuratively.
00:15:20.564 --> 00:15:23.295
Jenny Luna: That's a great story
and there are so many things that
00:15:23.595 --> 00:15:27.435
influence our work that come from our
personal lives as an example of that.
00:15:27.915 --> 00:15:31.995
Matt, let's take a break from
spontaneous speaking and ask
00:15:31.995 --> 00:15:33.915
you about hosting this podcast.
00:15:34.005 --> 00:15:37.545
I feel very fortunate to be part
of our small but mighty team.
00:15:37.905 --> 00:15:42.165
And I'm curious how you feel about
having completed a hundred episodes.
00:15:42.615 --> 00:15:44.895
Matt Abrahams: The first word
that comes to mind is gratitude.
00:15:44.925 --> 00:15:48.105
It has been a true pleasure to
work with you, Jenny, and all the,
00:15:48.105 --> 00:15:51.285
the work you do behind the scenes
to make this thing a success.
00:15:51.645 --> 00:15:55.035
Our colleague Neil, and others,
in, in the marketing communication
00:15:55.035 --> 00:15:56.475
team is, is fantastic.
00:15:56.835 --> 00:16:00.495
But the thing that I'm most grateful
for is just the connection that
00:16:00.495 --> 00:16:02.445
I and we have with our listeners.
00:16:02.865 --> 00:16:08.115
It has been truly a blessing and just
amazing to get to know people from all
00:16:08.115 --> 00:16:12.450
over the world, from all walks of life,
from places I've never heard of, who are
00:16:13.110 --> 00:16:18.515
not just benefiting from the podcast, but
also connecting to our larger community.
00:16:18.944 --> 00:16:22.470
And really helping each other
and role modeling some of the
00:16:22.470 --> 00:16:23.310
things that we talk about.
00:16:23.310 --> 00:16:27.090
I have learned more hosting this
podcast from our guests and our audience
00:16:27.090 --> 00:16:29.040
members than I ever thought possible.
00:16:29.340 --> 00:16:32.790
So when you asked me what do I think about
it, how do I reflect on this, it's, it's
00:16:32.790 --> 00:16:34.260
really just from a place of gratitude.
00:16:34.260 --> 00:16:35.070
It's been awesome.
00:16:35.400 --> 00:16:35.610
Jenny Luna: Okay.
00:16:35.610 --> 00:16:38.910
Well, I thought we'd end today's show
a little bit differently since on a
00:16:38.910 --> 00:16:43.260
prior episode, you've answered the
questions that you ask all of the guests.
00:16:43.560 --> 00:16:47.940
I wanna put you to the test and ask
you to think faster and talk smarter.
00:16:48.495 --> 00:16:51.824
I'm gonna give you three prompts
that reflect some of the situations
00:16:51.824 --> 00:16:54.824
that you provide in your new
book and ask you to respond.
00:16:55.155 --> 00:16:55.905
Are you ready for that?
00:16:56.715 --> 00:16:56.835
Matt Abrahams: I am.
00:16:56.835 --> 00:17:00.495
And just so everybody knows, I have
no idea what Jenny is gonna ask me.
00:17:01.425 --> 00:17:01.755
Jenny Luna: Okay.
00:17:02.205 --> 00:17:03.495
Well, I treasure feedback.
00:17:03.885 --> 00:17:08.085
What is one thing you would suggest that
I could do to be a better podcast host?
00:17:08.744 --> 00:17:11.984
Matt Abrahams: I'm going to leverage the
what, so what now, what structure that I
00:17:11.984 --> 00:17:15.345
teach, and for those of you who haven't
heard me talk about this, what is the
00:17:15.345 --> 00:17:18.824
information, the idea, the product, the
service, in this case, the feedback,
00:17:19.454 --> 00:17:21.165
the so what is, why is it important?
00:17:21.284 --> 00:17:26.085
And the now what is, what could the person
do differently or, or what comes next?
00:17:26.474 --> 00:17:29.745
So I'm gonna find some constructive thing
to say because you asked for it and I know
00:17:29.745 --> 00:17:32.294
you truly, uh, accept feedback is a gift.
00:17:32.865 --> 00:17:38.175
There are times where you have been
looking away in our conversation and it,
00:17:38.355 --> 00:17:42.105
for me, it's a little hard because I know
you make such intense eye contact always.
00:17:42.105 --> 00:17:45.555
So the feedback I would give you
in the what is sometimes you look
00:17:45.555 --> 00:17:46.965
away when you're asking questions.
00:17:47.504 --> 00:17:50.595
When you do that, it makes
me feel disconnected.
00:17:51.135 --> 00:17:52.004
That's the so what.
00:17:52.245 --> 00:17:55.815
So in the future, I would ask that
you keep your eye contact on me
00:17:55.935 --> 00:17:59.085
or whoever you're interviewing to
really help foster that connection
00:17:59.085 --> 00:18:00.465
and make it easier on the guest.
00:18:01.425 --> 00:18:04.905
Jenny Luna: It sounds like by making
more eye contact, we can be more
00:18:04.905 --> 00:18:07.725
successful in our communication,
and I'm gonna work on that.
00:18:08.294 --> 00:18:10.485
Matt Abrahams: Wow, great paraphrase.
00:18:11.475 --> 00:18:13.635
Jenny Luna: It takes a lot of
listening to be able to do that.
00:18:13.844 --> 00:18:17.385
Okay, so we have a new resource we're
providing listeners who want to learn
00:18:17.445 --> 00:18:19.274
English by listening to our podcast.
00:18:19.725 --> 00:18:21.435
How would you pitch that to them?
00:18:21.889 --> 00:18:23.504
Matt Abrahams: Alright,
so we're gonna try this.
00:18:24.120 --> 00:18:29.370
What if you could learn to feel more
comfortable speaking in the English
00:18:29.370 --> 00:18:34.230
language, so that you can participate
in some of your daily and business
00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:35.970
interactions more comfortably.
00:18:36.690 --> 00:18:41.250
For example, you could learn
specific idioms and phrasing that
00:18:41.250 --> 00:18:45.720
might help you in situations that
you encounter, and that's not all.
00:18:45.930 --> 00:18:49.890
You'll be able to enjoy Think Fast
Talk Smart episodes even more.
00:18:51.135 --> 00:18:51.675
Jenny Luna: Wonderful.
00:18:51.675 --> 00:18:53.895
That structure really does work well.
00:18:54.345 --> 00:18:55.425
Okay, question three.
00:18:55.845 --> 00:19:00.465
The entire Stanford GSB community has
come together to celebrate the podcast.
00:19:00.885 --> 00:19:02.264
You have to give a toast.
00:19:02.685 --> 00:19:03.014
Go.
00:19:03.645 --> 00:19:04.064
Matt Abrahams: Oh boy.
00:19:04.455 --> 00:19:06.435
So I have a structure I teach in the book.
00:19:06.435 --> 00:19:07.605
It's called WHAT.
00:19:07.695 --> 00:19:10.304
WHAT for giving toast and tributes.
00:19:10.304 --> 00:19:12.495
The W is, why are we all here?
00:19:12.824 --> 00:19:16.455
The H is, how are you the
person speaking connected.
00:19:16.860 --> 00:19:20.490
Then an anecdote or two, that's the
A. And then finally the thanking
00:19:20.490 --> 00:19:21.540
or the toasting at the end.
00:19:21.540 --> 00:19:22.860
So it's WHAT.
00:19:23.280 --> 00:19:29.070
So I might say thank you all for being
here to celebrate the GSB's Think Fast
00:19:29.070 --> 00:19:32.129
Talk Smart hundredth anniversary episode.
00:19:33.090 --> 00:19:38.010
I, Matt, am the host of this podcast
and just one of, of a small but mighty
00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:39.720
team of people that bring this to you.
00:19:40.275 --> 00:19:44.415
I remember back, years ago, when
we were first thinking of this idea
00:19:44.415 --> 00:19:47.865
and brainstorming and wondering,
would anybody ever listen, let alone
00:19:47.865 --> 00:19:49.455
want to be a guest on the podcast?
00:19:49.725 --> 00:19:53.055
And it has been fantastic to see
that people actually do wanna
00:19:53.055 --> 00:19:54.555
listen and do wanna join us.
00:19:54.825 --> 00:19:58.125
So I thank every single one of you
for being here, and I thank every
00:19:58.125 --> 00:20:01.845
single one of you for being a part
of the Think Fast Talk Smart family.
00:20:02.475 --> 00:20:03.105
Jenny Luna: Wonderful.
00:20:03.105 --> 00:20:03.995
Hear, hear.
00:20:04.335 --> 00:20:08.850
And congratulations, Matt, not only to a
hundred episodes, but to your new book.
00:20:09.210 --> 00:20:11.940
I know we're all looking forward
to cracking that open, um, your
00:20:11.940 --> 00:20:15.900
passion for communication, and
thank you for your concise, clear,
00:20:15.900 --> 00:20:20.100
and helpful guidance as always, and
I wish you well on the new book.
00:20:20.430 --> 00:20:23.250
That was a great conversation
and I look forward to many more.
00:20:23.685 --> 00:20:26.115
Matt Abrahams: Jenny, thank you so
much for all you do for the podcast,
00:20:26.115 --> 00:20:27.735
for sitting in and interviewing me.
00:20:27.855 --> 00:20:31.395
While this guest seat is pretty
comfy, I look forward to getting
00:20:31.395 --> 00:20:32.715
back into the host seat soon.
00:20:35.595 --> 00:20:38.475
Thank you for listening to
this Rethinks episode of Think
00:20:38.475 --> 00:20:40.485
Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.
00:20:40.815 --> 00:20:44.685
To learn more about managing speaking
anxiety, please listen to episode 10,
00:20:45.285 --> 00:20:50.375
and to work on your spontaneous speaking
mindset, please check out episode 112.
00:20:50.910 --> 00:20:55.740
This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.
00:20:56.010 --> 00:20:57.690
Our music is from Floyd Wonder.
00:20:57.750 --> 00:21:00.270
With special thanks to
Podium Podcast Company.
00:21:00.660 --> 00:21:03.870
Please find us on YouTube and
wherever you get your podcasts.
00:21:03.990 --> 00:21:06.060
Be sure to subscribe and rate us.
00:21:06.360 --> 00:21:09.570
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00:21:09.960 --> 00:21:14.010
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00:21:14.010 --> 00:21:16.200
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00:21:16.740 --> 00:21:20.250
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